Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots/General Annoyances
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General Annoyances
This is the section where I complain about everything that annoys me in this game. I'm certainly not saying that this game bites, because it certainly does not, but there are just a few things I wish they'd spent a smidge more time on. This section is not to be confused with my “section specific” annoyances. These are things that are always present. These are all safe to read unless they're marked “SPOILERS” in the heading. Then, read at your own risk. Nothing is a huge spoiler, but those so marked do divulge information given during the game's progress.
1)Snake's Knife.
Regardless of the weapon, as long as it only takes one hand to hold, Snake always has his knife in his hand. Even if it's not in your “equipped” list. That annoys me. If he's visibly holding it, I should be able to use it, whether or not it's equipped.
2)Snake's Weapon.
During any cut scene, Snake's clothing is always the same as what you're wearing when you trip the cut scene. The same face camo, the same Octocamo pattern, etc. But the weapon always defaults to the crappy Operator with no suppressor. This is all fine and good, but if the clothing could match, why can't the weapon? Why does Snake always have to rush into a field of Gekkos with his knife drawn and his .45 pistol when you tripped the cutscene with the Railgun? That annoys me too. Then you have to switch weapons at the beginning of the fight, rather than starting off with what you wanted.
3)The Soda Drinking.
Each time Drebin opens a new Cnarc to drink, he tilts the can back to such an angle that would be impossible not to pour the drink all down his purple jacket. But it never happens. Also, each time any character, save for the monkey, takes a single drink, they belch. This is ridiculous. Unless it's a can of Coca-Cola and it's at thirty degrees Celsius, you don't burp after each drink. If that were the case, why would you drink it? Drebin's Cnarc is not at 30C though; he's got a refrigerated vending machine on his APC (Armored Personnel Carrier).
The Metal Gear Database has this to say: "NARC - A zero calorie carbonated beverage. The drink of choice for Drebin and Little Gray. Drebin's armored vehicle carries a vending machine stocked full of it. It is highly carbonated and stimulates the circulation of nanomachines in the bloodstream via alpha-carbonic anhydrase activity within the body. It's worth mentioning that those who have the Sons of the Patriots nanomachines implanted in their body are unaffected by alcohol because the nanomachines break it down."
4)Nanomachines. (SPOILERS)
Alright, seriously. While nanomachines for such things as clearing blocked arteries are near a reality, this is a little hard to swallow. Nanomachines that can monitor the amount of ammo a soldier has left? Nanomachines that block emotions? Nanomachines that heighten senses quicker than experience does? Hardly. Plus, when some nanomachines start to stop working, somehow all the emotions they've blocked have been stored up in your body, and will now begin to resurface all at once and cause you to freak out? Good one. And then, after they're switched off and you start to freak out, you can inject some new nanomachines that “suppress” the ones hurting you and you're okay? But they only last temporarily? Please. And nanomachines can somehow reconstruct tissue damage so fast that when you're hit in the brain with a 5.56 diameter bullet traveling 884 m/s (2,900 fps) you will completely heal to normal brain function in thirty seconds? Sure. The nanomachine infatuation in this series has gone a little too far and gone on a little too long.
5)The Gun Locks (SPOILERS)
Okay, so a gun is an entirely mechanical piece of equipment. With exception of the most advanced military hardware, guns do not have any sort of electronics on them. But somehow, in this game, they all do and when your nanomachines don't match some circuit in the gun, you can't fire it. Well, what would make a gun unable to fire, if it's a completely mechanical process to make one do so? Bullets don't need electricity to fire. Therefore, if the nanomachines didn't match, there would have to be some kind of electronically activated mechanism that prevents the mechanical pieces from firing the bullet. So rather than “laundering” a gun via ID locks and more nanomachines, why not just take it apart and remove the mechanism that prevents it from working?
6)The Gamemakers' Perversions.
I'm not really complaining, but there sure do seem to be lots of butt-shots of the women in this game. The cinematic view of pretty much all the B&Bs is their butt in the foreground, and Snake cowering from a total hottie in the background. In a cutscene, anytime a girl falls down, you always get a screen full of booty. I mean, usually the Japanese find some way of sneaking a school girl uniform in, and I expect that, but this tries too hard to be subtle. It's not. I like butts myself, but the drama of a game dissipates if you're just checking out the scenery instead of the story.
7)Everybody Has 100X Zoom Eyes
This happens in motion pictures, as well as in this game. Somehow, two people, when they're 300 meters apart, can see each other's eyes and hear each other's voices with only barely a shout. I mean, sure, it adds drama when the viewer can see these things, but in the old Westerns, the two characters are fifty feet apart but can tell by each others' eyes when their opponent is going to shoot. Bunk.
8)Otacon's Glasses (SPOILERS)
Seriously Otacon. You can somehow afford a whatever-the-heck-kind-of-plane the Nomad is, and you can afford to give some third-world pencilneck kid the Mk. III, which you probably spent $50,000 and 1000 hours to build, but you can't afford a decent set of nose pads for your glasses. You have to push them back on your face with the middle finger of your right hand every ten seconds or so. Ever hear of Lasik? Try it.
9)Fighting as Therapy (SPOILERS)
This happened a lot in MGS1 too. Somehow, there's a villain who hates the whole world, who has lived their entire life a tormented, tortured soul, mentally scarred beyond hope. Yet somehow, fighting Snake is just what they needed. After they fight you, if they're not dead, you've somehow "cleansed" their soul and everything will be okay. Sorry, but if that worked, then a person wouldn't need eight years of school to talk to people about their childhood issues. They'd just fight and the patient would be cured. Groan.
